Thursday, 23 March 2017 explaination

A question was posed on a friends do you treat your books?
 Well some would say not really well.
I am breaking a lot of rules here but I am being brutally honest, I lay them open on the page. 

However I NEVER turn a page down and crease the paper, that was drummed into me by my librarian father. 
That was the ultimate sin.....and what I am doing here was a close second.
My daughter is an avid reader and buyer of books so when I have run out of material I ask her what she has for me!

 And then I get to read some very eclectic titles. 
Note when I borrow books from other people I do not lay them open willy nilly. I am very respectful of books that have been entrusted to me. 
 I will grab whatever is handy to act as a bookmark.
This being a very sweet card from my husband. 
(must remember to take that out before handing the book back...)

This book is quite funny, as I know a few lazy folk. 
The story is patchy but well worth just sticking with it for the human observations. 

 Then there are the books that I would take with me on a desert island. 
I actually dont own a lot of books, I beg and borrow and then return them. Strangely I have a fabric library but have whittled down books to a select few. 
This was a story that was a theme through my childhood of searching for strong characters, those who struck out on their own and made their life independently of others who sought to control them. This was an outstanding book of its time published in 1963 with a female hero, who fought her Victorian father for the right to an education.

Whats more it was set in my hometown of Melbourne Australia!

 These are some of my other keepers. 

"Three Men On a Boat" makes me laugh out loud.
"Gormenghast" has the best descriptive passages of pure writing I have ever experienced. 
I think Mervyn was on strong substances when he wrote this, its bizarre but so well written. I identified with the hero being ambivalent to inheriting a title, it was just so angst ridden...but I saw his pain. I recommended it to a family member who hated the character, thought he was weak and soppy.
I was hurt, it felt personal. I really fall in deep with some books and sometimes its a risk to put it out a piece of your soul.
I can only imagine how writers feel after bad reviews. 

 "The Elegance of the Hedgehog" made me sob...which was awkward as I was reading it at I do when I cannot sleep.
"The Dark Room" opened my eyes to the German experience of WWII. 
As a child of English parents I only heard one side. This is a great human perspective of what it was like to live as a German then and now. 

 "Wind in the Willows" my only friend as a preteen...I read and reread and reread....I never stopped returning wishing I too could escape on the river, find a true friend like Ratty....oh this book!
Its very broken and precious I have upgraded and bought a new copy but it doesn't feel like this book....this book holds my heart. 
 AA Milne a complete delight. 
Loved this poem
Loved Winnie The Pooh....he often made me laugh, and Eeyore....well I only have just understood him...and I adore his melancholy...

 I was given a lot of secondhand books as a child, read this a lot. Fairy Tales are actually quite gruesome and these were no exception!
Found these at my local thrift shop. They bought back memories of school reading. 
"cough, cough" I was actually a very advanced reader and had progressed from all set texts by age 8...was often just sent to the library and told to pick whatever I wanted! But I still have fond memories even so. 
 These texts are just so Australian...whereas my home reading was almost all English. 

 I hope you enjoyed this little foray into my books. 

Saturday, 18 March 2017

A new peace......a catch up.

Hello, .........calling from the other side.....if you listen to Adele's lyrics you will appreciate what I am trying to convey. 

I have been on the other side, just trying to put myself back after my many worlds were somewhat shattered. I have allowed myself a period of mourning.

I have lost many things, some physical, some spiritual, some things I never had but thought I did......and in my quiet place I saw how many other things I still could count as blessings.

Stuff is just stuff, I am not mourning stuff, stuff doesnt make you happy.....but it can be caught up in the grief.

But from the other side, I see calm and beauty and a new happy. 
I was fortunate to have people close and from afar reach out when I was low, people like Denice who has empathy and a kindness that just made me feel less alone. 
My friend Denice has a cool blog that I stumbled upon and we exchanged many an email. I felt safe telling her my story. 

One of the things we lost was my husbands father. 
(This is my husband by the way)
This is always a reflective time when we have to say goodbye to our parents. 
A few tears were shed and the occasion marked on my 365 circles project.
I will have a bittersweet reminder of this time and grateful that it is marked in such a personal way. 

Another anniversary was marked. I am blessed to have a strong silent and practical partner in my life. 
When we married and I saw him waiting for me in the church, a strong feeling of peace descended upon me, and a voice in my head said...."You are home now"....
This marriage is my home and it has kept me safe in all my turbulent times.

I had to mourn the loss of what I used to think of as my family of origin. 
Many events over many years culminated in a last outrageous act of disrespect, bullying and scapegoating. I had to walk away from and mourn a very dysfunctional family dynamic. 
Every time I hear stories of domestic abuse, I am only just now realising how toxic my family was. I accepted behaviours because no one told me that it was wrong. Besides are not parents supposed to nuture and protect?  
I am an intelligent woman but it took 55 years to realise how children can be programmed to accept abuse from the ones they look to for security......never judge anyone who is caught up in abusive is complex......just be there to support and the sufferer will see their way out if kindness is shown and you listen and believe their story. 

So in my quiet place I sat and looked at the simple things that are around us. Saw beauty where ever it was. 
And I regained myself. 


So now my story emerges.........